Okay, so I am continuing what will be a long process of trying to put some kind of order to the chaotic jumble of thoughts, insights, inner rebukes and questions that were stirred over the course of ten days in Cap Haitien, Haiti (I realize many have been simmering for years; some just bubbled to the surface there). I scribbled some of them down on everything from scraps of wrinkled paper to my latest journal; some of them are simply echoing somewhere in the recesses of that warped place that I call “my mind” – and I have already learned that there is no telling what triggers them, making them mentally audible.
I am sipping coffee while wrestling with what I suspect will now always be varying volumes and intensity of the question, “Do I really need this (“this” being the brew that Don puts together here)?” That is just one of a gazillion “conscience aftershocks” that comes after being confronted by mile after mile of people with absolutely nothing! I suspect I will respond to that question differently from day to day; but today, my heart seems content to thank God for the flavor and the atmosphere at Café Galletti – and see it as today’s setting for processing the thought that bubbled to the surface as I sat on the bus this morning (noting that after seeing the streets of Cap Haitien, the traffic that I remember grumbling about here seems unusually orderly!).
Anyway, to the thought. It burst out of a Bible verse that I was exposed to early and often in my journey in “the church.” In the Bible version that I first heard it in, Paul’s words read: “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23, New International Version). Even in my spiritual infancy, I remember thinking that statement seemed almost too obvious. I didn’t know much about God but I knew plenty about me and to be told that He is more “glorious” than I am seemed to grotesquely overstate the obvious.
I now realize that it didn’t take long for me to subconsciously mentally file that verse away as one (of many!) that I didn’t really and fully know what to do with…but rather than poking at it, sort of set it aside as a statement that on the one hand was an “obvious cornerstone” of what “we believe” yet on the other hand seemed to be saying more than what I was hearing.
I have begun to realize that the phrase “all…fall short” caused me to subconsciously squirm as much as anything. I can now identify thoughts under the surface that cruelly interpreted the verse: “Ohhhh, you can and even should keep trying…but you’ll never really make it. In fact, try harder; you’ll keep seeing how futile it is and how hopeless you are. You will always fall short.” I remember one writer who described that sense of futility as “being trapped in the room of good intentions.”
Of course all have sinned; still do and as long as we have a pulse, always will. I glance across the table and see both my personal journal and today’s newspaper and I am well aware that both are full of a wide assortment of reminders of that.
But both my mental and scribbled notes remind me of a tiny glimmer of new light that touched part of that verse. One teacher/writer that I stumbled onto explained that the phrase “fall short” meant more like “lacks” or “doesn’t get…at least not fully.”
That helped a tiny bit: I certainly don’t fully get “the glory of God.”
More words from that teacher/writer (in case you’re wondering, it was Major Ian Thomas) and some of my own thoughts combined to brighten that new light a little more: “Of course I don’t fully “get” God! In order for Him to be the God that I truly need, He must be far beyond anything I can comprehend; flawless, perfect, glorious…even holy. I will always come up short of what a God like that would have to demand of people who look for and need Him.” But there must be more going on in order for that to not lead me deeper into futility and despair. That is when it hit me: “I also don’t fully “get” what He offers; what He extends, what He provides. Because of His glory, He has to provide that; it is an inseparable aspect of true glory. ”
Yes, the demand/expectation/standard is there…but so is the provision to “meet” it; and beyond that, when I fail to meet it, it corrects (glorifies?) even my “best intentions.”
I “fall short” in my understanding of that; as long as I have a pulse, I will never “get it” completely – and/or I am constantly prone to forget it! I will continue to fall short in seeing what is really demanded of me…yet I will simultaneously continue to come up short in seeing what is right here for me!
That is still in the (lifelong?) process of being clarified in and for me. Fighting to find words for it is part of my wiring. I don’t know if they’ll click with anyone else; wrestling with them helps me – so thanks for an outlet for what I might call “revelatory self-indulgence.”
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
...more and deeper post-Haiti ponderings
I’ve been really (REALLY) humbled by how many people have asked me to post more here. Writing is very therapeutic and clarifying for me – although I realize that is often not the case for everyone who reads it. Actually, it is probably better than me babbling on about things with you in person. This way if you don’t want to hear, you can just click away, rather than trying to smile and nod politely as I ramble on!
By the way, many have asked about pictures. Well, once I got past the extremely strange feeling of being an “awkward viewer” of their “ultimate reality show” I actually did click a few pics. The problem is I took a really old digital camera -- just in case it got damaged or “disappeared.” Now I am having a brutal time finding the unique cord needed to connect it to my computer. There was an HCJB team on the ground around the same time I was, although they were much more in the direct quake zone. One of their team members posted some great pics that capture much of “reality” there: check:
picasaweb.google.com/hschirma/HaitiHCJBGlobalHands?feat=directlink
Anyway, before heading there, the “old reporter” in me began to kick in and I started to study the history of Haiti. I went back to before Christopher Columbus arrived in 1492. I tried to learn as much as I could about what has shaped that nation. Even though I still have tons to learn (and will keep digging) much of what I have found breaks my heart!
I have mentioned how God has been growing a friendship between Pastor Adam Rodevert and me -- and between the people that come to English Fellowship Church and Redemption Baptist Church here in Quito (that is “his” church, made up mostly of Haitian refugees).
Even before the earthquake, that friendship began to make me care more about Haiti than I ever would have dreamed. Seeing, reading and hearing about the earthquake stirred me in a way nothing ever has…and learning just a little about the history hit my mind and heart very hard.
I am both amazed and saddened by how little I knew about Haiti. I am even more saddened by how little most of the world really knows about it and its people.
As friends and family began to hear about the plans for me to go, some began to congratulate me, some began to warn me, and many began to encourage me about going to teach in what most called “such a spiritually dark place.” The author of one of the history books said it makes him very sad when people come to that conclusion without ever visiting or bothering to learn anything about Haiti. Honestly, I saw far more “signs of light” than I have seen for years across North America.
After reading part of that one history book I wrote to a friend, “You don’t have to go anywhere to find darkness. We are all still living between Eden and Heaven so there is darkness everywhere. Even those of us who have been given the grace to turn to God and genuinely seek to come closer to Him must continue to recognize and deal with the darkness…darkness around us and darkness in us.
The darkness and the power of Satan behind it work frantically to get us to turn from God. That is the only thing they try to do…and we all have different and personal things they use to try to get us to turn us away from God.
That is why I do not believe that at its core, there is any difference between the force behind voodoo, and, say, the force behind the greed and arrogance of a multi-millionaire watching the news from Haiti and thinking “Those foolish Haitians got themselves into this mess, let them get themselves out of it.”
There is also no difference between that and the force that continued to whisper thoughts to me about why I should be afraid to be there…or the persistent force that kept trying to get me to worry more about what “they” thought of me than I cared about carefully teaching the Truth.
I had been asked to focus on what the God told Zechariah to tell people the Jews 2,500 years ago – and His words echo all through history: 'Return to me…and I will return to you.' (Zech 1:3, NIV) The need to turn (or return) to God is not just a need in northern Haiti; the need is just as real in North America. There are things in “my culture” that fight to make “my people” turn (or stay away) from God as much as anything in “their culture” fights to make them turn (or stay away)!
As I got to actually know some Haitians, I was very sad to find myself confronting different forms of the same bizarre myth that gets perpetuated in ridiculous ways: where I am from somehow makes me “closer to” or “more blessed by” God than they are!
Actually, the Bible makes it clear that the wealthiest nations often find it the easiest to turn (and/or stay) away from God! God told Zechariah something that should make many nations shake as much as the earthquake that hit Haiti. God said, “I am very angry with the nations that feel secure.” (Zech 1:15, NIV)
The sense of security God referred to had to do with their economies and political stability and it had to do with the way they felt that they were extra special and extra close to God.
The word that was used for “angry” came from a word that meant “to boil.” It went on to describe someone whose face got bright red from deep, intense emotions.
Another version of the Bible has God telling Zechariah: “I am exceedingly angry with those who take my grace for granted." Go back over that line again. How much more intensely must God feel that, 2,500 years later?
God used an angel to tell Zechariah those things. At the start of Zechariah 1:14, he wrote, “The angel said to me, ‘Shout this message for all to hear!’” (Zech 1:14)
That was way before they had sound systems…so when the angel said, “Shout this…!” he would have meant it literally. Knowing how urgently and seriously Zechariah took what God was telling him, I can picture it echoing all across the land.
Zechariah wrote, “The angel said to me, ‘Shout this message for all to hear!’” (Zech 1:14) Note that little yet huge word: ALL! Wherever we are from, small town or big city, northern Haiti or North America, we all have different and very personal things that work to turn us (or keep us) away from God…but we all have the same way back!
Jesus said, “I (highlight, underline, put that first word in a really big font!) I have come to seek and save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)
He was saying, "I have come to find those who have turned away. I may tap them gently on the shoulder or I may have to grab them and shake them to get their attention – but because of my love for them, I will offer to take them back to God, the Father."
By the way, many have asked about pictures. Well, once I got past the extremely strange feeling of being an “awkward viewer” of their “ultimate reality show” I actually did click a few pics. The problem is I took a really old digital camera -- just in case it got damaged or “disappeared.” Now I am having a brutal time finding the unique cord needed to connect it to my computer. There was an HCJB team on the ground around the same time I was, although they were much more in the direct quake zone. One of their team members posted some great pics that capture much of “reality” there: check:
picasaweb.google.com/hschirma/HaitiHCJBGlobalHands?feat=directlink
Anyway, before heading there, the “old reporter” in me began to kick in and I started to study the history of Haiti. I went back to before Christopher Columbus arrived in 1492. I tried to learn as much as I could about what has shaped that nation. Even though I still have tons to learn (and will keep digging) much of what I have found breaks my heart!
I have mentioned how God has been growing a friendship between Pastor Adam Rodevert and me -- and between the people that come to English Fellowship Church and Redemption Baptist Church here in Quito (that is “his” church, made up mostly of Haitian refugees).
Even before the earthquake, that friendship began to make me care more about Haiti than I ever would have dreamed. Seeing, reading and hearing about the earthquake stirred me in a way nothing ever has…and learning just a little about the history hit my mind and heart very hard.
I am both amazed and saddened by how little I knew about Haiti. I am even more saddened by how little most of the world really knows about it and its people.
As friends and family began to hear about the plans for me to go, some began to congratulate me, some began to warn me, and many began to encourage me about going to teach in what most called “such a spiritually dark place.” The author of one of the history books said it makes him very sad when people come to that conclusion without ever visiting or bothering to learn anything about Haiti. Honestly, I saw far more “signs of light” than I have seen for years across North America.
After reading part of that one history book I wrote to a friend, “You don’t have to go anywhere to find darkness. We are all still living between Eden and Heaven so there is darkness everywhere. Even those of us who have been given the grace to turn to God and genuinely seek to come closer to Him must continue to recognize and deal with the darkness…darkness around us and darkness in us.
The darkness and the power of Satan behind it work frantically to get us to turn from God. That is the only thing they try to do…and we all have different and personal things they use to try to get us to turn us away from God.
That is why I do not believe that at its core, there is any difference between the force behind voodoo, and, say, the force behind the greed and arrogance of a multi-millionaire watching the news from Haiti and thinking “Those foolish Haitians got themselves into this mess, let them get themselves out of it.”
There is also no difference between that and the force that continued to whisper thoughts to me about why I should be afraid to be there…or the persistent force that kept trying to get me to worry more about what “they” thought of me than I cared about carefully teaching the Truth.
I had been asked to focus on what the God told Zechariah to tell people the Jews 2,500 years ago – and His words echo all through history: 'Return to me…and I will return to you.' (Zech 1:3, NIV) The need to turn (or return) to God is not just a need in northern Haiti; the need is just as real in North America. There are things in “my culture” that fight to make “my people” turn (or stay away) from God as much as anything in “their culture” fights to make them turn (or stay away)!
As I got to actually know some Haitians, I was very sad to find myself confronting different forms of the same bizarre myth that gets perpetuated in ridiculous ways: where I am from somehow makes me “closer to” or “more blessed by” God than they are!
Actually, the Bible makes it clear that the wealthiest nations often find it the easiest to turn (and/or stay) away from God! God told Zechariah something that should make many nations shake as much as the earthquake that hit Haiti. God said, “I am very angry with the nations that feel secure.” (Zech 1:15, NIV)
The sense of security God referred to had to do with their economies and political stability and it had to do with the way they felt that they were extra special and extra close to God.
The word that was used for “angry” came from a word that meant “to boil.” It went on to describe someone whose face got bright red from deep, intense emotions.
Another version of the Bible has God telling Zechariah: “I am exceedingly angry with those who take my grace for granted." Go back over that line again. How much more intensely must God feel that, 2,500 years later?
God used an angel to tell Zechariah those things. At the start of Zechariah 1:14, he wrote, “The angel said to me, ‘Shout this message for all to hear!’” (Zech 1:14)
That was way before they had sound systems…so when the angel said, “Shout this…!” he would have meant it literally. Knowing how urgently and seriously Zechariah took what God was telling him, I can picture it echoing all across the land.
Zechariah wrote, “The angel said to me, ‘Shout this message for all to hear!’” (Zech 1:14) Note that little yet huge word: ALL! Wherever we are from, small town or big city, northern Haiti or North America, we all have different and very personal things that work to turn us (or keep us) away from God…but we all have the same way back!
Jesus said, “I (highlight, underline, put that first word in a really big font!) I have come to seek and save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)
He was saying, "I have come to find those who have turned away. I may tap them gently on the shoulder or I may have to grab them and shake them to get their attention – but because of my love for them, I will offer to take them back to God, the Father."
Sunday, April 4, 2010
...for those who asked (and even for those who didn't)
Hiya! It was suggested that I post the text of the message that I had the enormous privilege of bringing today (Easter Sunday) at the biggest church in Cap Haitien (I'm still kickin' myself for not bringing my camera cable for the computer...but, honestly, I never dream I would have this kind of tech access!). Anyway, here goes:
Resurrection Sunday – Cap Haitien
Today is my “spiritual birthday.” Resurrection Sunday, 22 years ago, God brought me to a place where I confessed how desperately I needed Jesus Christ as my Saviour.
Being here, with you, to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ is far beyond anything I could dream!
I don’t know about churches here…but in many churches where I come from, two statements are repeated many times on this morning.
The leader says: “The Lord is risen!”
Then everyone responds: “He is risen indeed!”
I am sad to say that in most churches where I come from, we really only say that one day a year!
I am sad to say that where I come from, most people do not live as though they believe that is true.
Even though my life is built around teaching the Truth of Jesus Christ, I am often tempted to forget that Jesus is alive.
When Jesus’ first followers got to the tomb where He had been buried, an angel said, “You are looking where Jesus was!”
Do not worry about where He was; learn to live with Him where He is!
We do not need Jesus where He was.
We need Jesus where He is…where He is alive!
I have had the privilege of seeing that Jesus is very alive in Haiti!
-----
Just hours before Jesus was killed, His disciples had surrounded Him for some of His most passionate teaching – and for them, the most disturbing.
We look at the story knowing what is going to happen. They did not have any idea what was coming, no matter how many times Jesus told them He was leaving.
He even told them that He was going to be killed.
There were many things the Disciples could not understand about Jesus until after the resurrection.
They did not understand what Jesus meant when He said:
“I will pray to the Father and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (Jn 14:15-18, NKJV)
Jesus spoke those words to His closest followers…but they did not understand.
After His resurrection, they learned what He had meant…and gave their lives telling anyone and everyone about it.
-----
The Apostle John did not write his book until decades after Jesus promised that He would not leave them; all John knew as it was happening was that Jesus was talking about leaving.
I cannot imagine what John and the other Disciples felt as they tried to imagine their lives without Jesus.
The thought must have torn their hearts apart.
Yet Jesus said, “Let not your heart be troubled…” (Jn 14:1, 27, NKJV)
I wonder what the Disciples thought and felt when Jesus said, “I am leaving. Actually, someone is going to kill me. But don’t let your heart be troubled.”
Don’t let your heart be troubled? Was Jesus kidding? Was He being cruel?
This week, I have seen what Jesus was saying in a way I never had before…and I have learned it through the lives and stories of many people in this country!
I have seen many people who hold very tightly to Jesus’ promise: I will not leave you…
Jesus said, “I will not leave you as orphans.”
The word “orphan” was as heart-breaking in Jesus’ day as it is today, here, all across this country.
Jesus said, “I will not leave you like that!”
People where I am from often think we have so much to teach you. I think we have much more to learn from you!
Jesus Christ is alive and the faith that many of you have in that is what allows you to live in a world that can be as troubled as ours!
Jesus knows that we are living between Eden and Heaven.
He knows things will come along that will shake our world and break our hearts.
For 33 years, Jesus was a human.
He knows how much it can hurt to be human; He saw and felt things that broke His heart.
Once He cried out to God, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death.” (Mat 26:38).
A few hours later as He hung on the cross, Jesus cried, “God, how could you have left me like this, all alone?”
When Jesus said, “Don’t let your heart be troubled,” He was not saying, “Don’t ever be bothered or hurt.” He was saying, “Don’t try to face those things alone.”
There will be things that will bother and hurt you!
Jesus was saying, “When those things come along, turn to Me! I will be with you in them and that is how you will make it through them…even if I have to carry you every step here on earth until I bring you into Heaven!”
That is what Jesus meant when He promised: “God will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever…you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (Jn 14:15-18, NKJV)
The resurrection of Jesus made that possible!
As one who did not grow up in the church, I have always had a lot of questions and I have never been afraid to ask them.
I understand why churches where I am from celebrate Christmas and Easter…but even at Easter, I have always wondered why more churches don’t get more excited about the Resurrection.
I do not understand how silent many churches are about what happened on “The Day of Pentecost.”
They don’t seem to be very interested in “The Ascension” – when Jesus was raised into Heaven and the Holy Spirit started a whole new ministry in followers of Jesus.
I wonder why we don’t celebrate what happened the moment the human part of Jesus experienced physical death: “At that moment the curtain in the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.” (Mt 27:51, NLT)
The curtain in the Temple covered the entrance to what God had taught the Jews to honor as the “Holy of Holies” – the one place on earth where God’s full Presence could be found.
One person, the High Priest, had the opportunity to enter into that presence…just one day out of every year.
I could spend hours describing everything the priest had to do to get ready for that moment.
It was awesome and terrifying.
Once a year, one man had a direct encounter with the Living God.
When Jesus died “the curtain in the Temple was torn in two...” (Mt. 27:51)
The barrier to the Living God was removed, once and for all.
That is how the writer of the book of Hebrews was able to make this invitation for any authentic follower of Jesus:
“Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
There we will receive his mercy and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Heb. 4:16, NLT)
We don’t have to look very far to find the Living God, because Jesus said He would “abide with you forever…you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.” (Jn 14:16-18, NKJV)
Not an orphan. Not alone. No longer helpless or hopeless. Able to face life because the Living God is right here; not just with us but in us!
“The Lord is risen!”
“He is risen indeed!”
I want to leave you with two prayers that the Apostle Paul left for us.
It does not matter how old or young you are or where you are in your journey with God.
If you would like that prayer for yourself, I invite you to stand as a gesture of your willingness to receive the prayer.
For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
(Eph 1:15-21, NIV)
Then Paul picked up his prayer for you in chapter 3:
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen (Eph. 3: 16-20, NIV)
Resurrection Sunday – Cap Haitien
Today is my “spiritual birthday.” Resurrection Sunday, 22 years ago, God brought me to a place where I confessed how desperately I needed Jesus Christ as my Saviour.
Being here, with you, to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ is far beyond anything I could dream!
I don’t know about churches here…but in many churches where I come from, two statements are repeated many times on this morning.
The leader says: “The Lord is risen!”
Then everyone responds: “He is risen indeed!”
I am sad to say that in most churches where I come from, we really only say that one day a year!
I am sad to say that where I come from, most people do not live as though they believe that is true.
Even though my life is built around teaching the Truth of Jesus Christ, I am often tempted to forget that Jesus is alive.
When Jesus’ first followers got to the tomb where He had been buried, an angel said, “You are looking where Jesus was!”
Do not worry about where He was; learn to live with Him where He is!
We do not need Jesus where He was.
We need Jesus where He is…where He is alive!
I have had the privilege of seeing that Jesus is very alive in Haiti!
-----
Just hours before Jesus was killed, His disciples had surrounded Him for some of His most passionate teaching – and for them, the most disturbing.
We look at the story knowing what is going to happen. They did not have any idea what was coming, no matter how many times Jesus told them He was leaving.
He even told them that He was going to be killed.
There were many things the Disciples could not understand about Jesus until after the resurrection.
They did not understand what Jesus meant when He said:
“I will pray to the Father and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (Jn 14:15-18, NKJV)
Jesus spoke those words to His closest followers…but they did not understand.
After His resurrection, they learned what He had meant…and gave their lives telling anyone and everyone about it.
-----
The Apostle John did not write his book until decades after Jesus promised that He would not leave them; all John knew as it was happening was that Jesus was talking about leaving.
I cannot imagine what John and the other Disciples felt as they tried to imagine their lives without Jesus.
The thought must have torn their hearts apart.
Yet Jesus said, “Let not your heart be troubled…” (Jn 14:1, 27, NKJV)
I wonder what the Disciples thought and felt when Jesus said, “I am leaving. Actually, someone is going to kill me. But don’t let your heart be troubled.”
Don’t let your heart be troubled? Was Jesus kidding? Was He being cruel?
This week, I have seen what Jesus was saying in a way I never had before…and I have learned it through the lives and stories of many people in this country!
I have seen many people who hold very tightly to Jesus’ promise: I will not leave you…
Jesus said, “I will not leave you as orphans.”
The word “orphan” was as heart-breaking in Jesus’ day as it is today, here, all across this country.
Jesus said, “I will not leave you like that!”
People where I am from often think we have so much to teach you. I think we have much more to learn from you!
Jesus Christ is alive and the faith that many of you have in that is what allows you to live in a world that can be as troubled as ours!
Jesus knows that we are living between Eden and Heaven.
He knows things will come along that will shake our world and break our hearts.
For 33 years, Jesus was a human.
He knows how much it can hurt to be human; He saw and felt things that broke His heart.
Once He cried out to God, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death.” (Mat 26:38).
A few hours later as He hung on the cross, Jesus cried, “God, how could you have left me like this, all alone?”
When Jesus said, “Don’t let your heart be troubled,” He was not saying, “Don’t ever be bothered or hurt.” He was saying, “Don’t try to face those things alone.”
There will be things that will bother and hurt you!
Jesus was saying, “When those things come along, turn to Me! I will be with you in them and that is how you will make it through them…even if I have to carry you every step here on earth until I bring you into Heaven!”
That is what Jesus meant when He promised: “God will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever…you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (Jn 14:15-18, NKJV)
The resurrection of Jesus made that possible!
As one who did not grow up in the church, I have always had a lot of questions and I have never been afraid to ask them.
I understand why churches where I am from celebrate Christmas and Easter…but even at Easter, I have always wondered why more churches don’t get more excited about the Resurrection.
I do not understand how silent many churches are about what happened on “The Day of Pentecost.”
They don’t seem to be very interested in “The Ascension” – when Jesus was raised into Heaven and the Holy Spirit started a whole new ministry in followers of Jesus.
I wonder why we don’t celebrate what happened the moment the human part of Jesus experienced physical death: “At that moment the curtain in the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.” (Mt 27:51, NLT)
The curtain in the Temple covered the entrance to what God had taught the Jews to honor as the “Holy of Holies” – the one place on earth where God’s full Presence could be found.
One person, the High Priest, had the opportunity to enter into that presence…just one day out of every year.
I could spend hours describing everything the priest had to do to get ready for that moment.
It was awesome and terrifying.
Once a year, one man had a direct encounter with the Living God.
When Jesus died “the curtain in the Temple was torn in two...” (Mt. 27:51)
The barrier to the Living God was removed, once and for all.
That is how the writer of the book of Hebrews was able to make this invitation for any authentic follower of Jesus:
“Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
There we will receive his mercy and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Heb. 4:16, NLT)
We don’t have to look very far to find the Living God, because Jesus said He would “abide with you forever…you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.” (Jn 14:16-18, NKJV)
Not an orphan. Not alone. No longer helpless or hopeless. Able to face life because the Living God is right here; not just with us but in us!
“The Lord is risen!”
“He is risen indeed!”
I want to leave you with two prayers that the Apostle Paul left for us.
It does not matter how old or young you are or where you are in your journey with God.
If you would like that prayer for yourself, I invite you to stand as a gesture of your willingness to receive the prayer.
For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
(Eph 1:15-21, NIV)
Then Paul picked up his prayer for you in chapter 3:
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen (Eph. 3: 16-20, NIV)
Saturday, April 3, 2010
...possibly more than you wanna know this time!
Urgent, intense “abdominal irregularities” in the middle of the night! I know, I know – as my kids would say, “TMI” – but hang on, there is a link back to God (even on that kind of an opening!).
Anyone who has been in places like this is likely thinking, “I’m surprised it took almost a week for that!” Too true, really. Anyway, it “lingered” ‘til morning and then lurked in the background on the brutally bumpy two-hour ride out to the edge of the little town where the leader training was. At a crucial moment our driver continued to amaze me and was able to whisk me to a “desperately necessary” spot, just in time. Again, if you’ve lived this sorta thing, you’re nodding along with me. If you haven’t, you’re likely thinkin’ I’ve kinda lost it!
My main concern was how I was gonna get through a 3-hour presentation – on the edge of nowhere! D-uhhhhhh; just before it was to start I kinda whimpered a weak, “Father, help!”
The inner answer back was extremely unexpected and seemingly unrelated: “Ditch yer notes, dude; there is something else to tell these folks.” Uncharacteristically, I did just that (my “AG” friends are likely grinnin’; my friends who have no clue what those letters stand for are scratching their heads!)! At risk of really taking the imagery of this story to a dangerous extreme, the thoughts and words flowed like I never could have imagined – while “nothing else” flowed for the whole three hours (again, some of you will get that; some of you will likely give up on this post. either way, I doubt it will make it to any of our mission’s official publications!)
The bottom (no pun intended) line is, it turned into an extraordinary day with about 40 Haitian church leaders. They warmed up quickly and fully, the translator was fabulous, the Truth flowed freely back and forth between us and I found myself learning and caring about them with an intensity that still leaves me shaking my head. I am gonna have a ton of stuff to ponder, rethink and bawl over when this is all done!
Now I am back in my “li’l miracle tech corner” of the place where I’m staying and the wireless strength is showing “very good!” Plus, the meal that was waiting for me (fried bananas, rice and some kind of meat that I’m still afraid to ask for details on) was big enough to share with a couple of the workers that seem particularly entertained by me (I stopped worrying about what they’re saying about me in Creole days ago!).
Lincoln Brewster’s version of “Lord I’m Amazed By You…” is echoing in my head so loud its drowning out the Calypso beat from next door!
Oh, one other random bit that I don’t think I have mentioned: there isn’t a single traffic light in this whole city (some people have told me 500,000 people live here!). If you’ve never been somewhere like this you would never believe how many motorcycles, trucks, cars, wagons, donkeys and people you can squeeze side-by-side in both directions on a very narrow street!
Shalom.
Anyone who has been in places like this is likely thinking, “I’m surprised it took almost a week for that!” Too true, really. Anyway, it “lingered” ‘til morning and then lurked in the background on the brutally bumpy two-hour ride out to the edge of the little town where the leader training was. At a crucial moment our driver continued to amaze me and was able to whisk me to a “desperately necessary” spot, just in time. Again, if you’ve lived this sorta thing, you’re nodding along with me. If you haven’t, you’re likely thinkin’ I’ve kinda lost it!
My main concern was how I was gonna get through a 3-hour presentation – on the edge of nowhere! D-uhhhhhh; just before it was to start I kinda whimpered a weak, “Father, help!”
The inner answer back was extremely unexpected and seemingly unrelated: “Ditch yer notes, dude; there is something else to tell these folks.” Uncharacteristically, I did just that (my “AG” friends are likely grinnin’; my friends who have no clue what those letters stand for are scratching their heads!)! At risk of really taking the imagery of this story to a dangerous extreme, the thoughts and words flowed like I never could have imagined – while “nothing else” flowed for the whole three hours (again, some of you will get that; some of you will likely give up on this post. either way, I doubt it will make it to any of our mission’s official publications!)
The bottom (no pun intended) line is, it turned into an extraordinary day with about 40 Haitian church leaders. They warmed up quickly and fully, the translator was fabulous, the Truth flowed freely back and forth between us and I found myself learning and caring about them with an intensity that still leaves me shaking my head. I am gonna have a ton of stuff to ponder, rethink and bawl over when this is all done!
Now I am back in my “li’l miracle tech corner” of the place where I’m staying and the wireless strength is showing “very good!” Plus, the meal that was waiting for me (fried bananas, rice and some kind of meat that I’m still afraid to ask for details on) was big enough to share with a couple of the workers that seem particularly entertained by me (I stopped worrying about what they’re saying about me in Creole days ago!).
Lincoln Brewster’s version of “Lord I’m Amazed By You…” is echoing in my head so loud its drowning out the Calypso beat from next door!
Oh, one other random bit that I don’t think I have mentioned: there isn’t a single traffic light in this whole city (some people have told me 500,000 people live here!). If you’ve never been somewhere like this you would never believe how many motorcycles, trucks, cars, wagons, donkeys and people you can squeeze side-by-side in both directions on a very narrow street!
Shalom.
Friday, April 2, 2010
April 2 in "the Cap"
Hilarious! I figured out how I am able to get sporadic wireless internet (a coupla days ago I mentioned that I stumbled onto a "live" corner where I'm staying but couldn't figure out how it was possible!). Turns out, the "hotel" office below has a simple "iinksys" router (like the first one we got and I used to fight with back in Quito)...and that is the system I was somehow able to fix yesterday. Lo and behold: fixing their problem got me back up online in my li'l corner -- and they're perfectly cool with me using it from up here!
It is just one more thing to add to the growing list of things that have happened that can only be explained One way! Wanna hear another one? I mentioned earlier in the day on a Facebook post that I had a few unexpected quiet hours this morning -- to ponder, reflect and even weep. Then my thoughts turned to the final three nights of the "campaign," final preparation for tomorrow's "leader training" -- and the hilariously unexpected invitation to bring the message at Cap Haitien's largest church...on Resurrection Sunday!!!
So, there I was, studying/praying for Sunday and I started thinking I might need to head out to grab something to drink (there is a surprisingly well stocked but horrifically expensive li'l shop right by here; I'm guessing that is thanks to the UN compound around the corner). A knock on the door; in walks Pastor Adam with a mix of sodas and juices -- 4 cans, 2 bottles. A typical crushing bear-hug and, "Ahhhhh, my friend...we just thought you might be thirsty."
"Lord, you know how much I appreciate it...but 6 drinks? What about the tens of thousands around me with nothing?"
Hmmmmmm...'scuse me; I think I gotta go take a walk. I have a few "things" I need to hand out.
It is just one more thing to add to the growing list of things that have happened that can only be explained One way! Wanna hear another one? I mentioned earlier in the day on a Facebook post that I had a few unexpected quiet hours this morning -- to ponder, reflect and even weep. Then my thoughts turned to the final three nights of the "campaign," final preparation for tomorrow's "leader training" -- and the hilariously unexpected invitation to bring the message at Cap Haitien's largest church...on Resurrection Sunday!!!
So, there I was, studying/praying for Sunday and I started thinking I might need to head out to grab something to drink (there is a surprisingly well stocked but horrifically expensive li'l shop right by here; I'm guessing that is thanks to the UN compound around the corner). A knock on the door; in walks Pastor Adam with a mix of sodas and juices -- 4 cans, 2 bottles. A typical crushing bear-hug and, "Ahhhhh, my friend...we just thought you might be thirsty."
"Lord, you know how much I appreciate it...but 6 drinks? What about the tens of thousands around me with nothing?"
Hmmmmmm...'scuse me; I think I gotta go take a walk. I have a few "things" I need to hand out.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
checking in from "the Cap"
Salud!
Internet options have been rare over the past couple of days; so sorry for losing contact! Actually, this morning I was kind of crawling around behind the little desk in the “office” where I am staying into this chaos of wires to help them reestablish their internet connection here. I guess all those months of fighting with the problems we had in Quito have been redeemed – and the people are unusually appreciative about “how much (I) know about computers.” Hilarious, huh???!!!
Shoot; where do I begin? I wish you could have seen the translator last night. He does so much more than just translate the words. He “amplifies” the emotion and excitement to an acceptable “Caribbean” level. The dude is crazy and he gets flat-out drenched from head to toe. Every once in a while he pauses to whisper in my ear in broken English, “ohhhhhh, dis is a gooooood message.” It is kinda like a little nudge from God for me, saying, “Keep going; deliver the message; let me use him to make it fit their culture and hearts.”
Attendance at the crusades has been much lower than the leaders had hoped – but people just don’t seem to get down about anything here! They believe it simply comes down to the fact that people do not have any money at all to even think about getting to something “extra” like this. The poverty is beyond all western comprehension. Even Pastor Adam says things are much worse than when he left. Port au Prince (the capitol) was the only tiny glimmer of industry and/or employment and with it still upside-down the whole country is reeling. Plus, the neighborhood the crusade is in is pretty “dark” in all ways. Apparently many people are not happy with a church “hurting”” their neighborhood. The whole area is pretty much without electricity so when we drive out at night, the candles on tables in front of the homes give it all kind of an extra ominous feel. Plus, the rains have returned – which is a huge relief on one hand – but tends to keep even more people away in the evening. Still, when it comes to the “crusade,” the people that come seem so full of life and faith and the direction of the crusade seems to be turning more to encouraging them and building them up than welcoming people who do not have any clue about God.
On the other hand, this morning I was invited to a “prayer meeting” at the biggest church in Cap Haitien. Talk about being yanked out of my comfort zone!!! There were several thousand people there – and for about an hour it looked like a mixture of a Caribbean aerobics class and mosh pit (prayer meeting, huh?). Then it turned into what I can only imagine happened in the first days of the New Testament. There were shrieks and screams and people would hit the dirt and flip and flop and tremble and quake and then go perfectly still; some for 20 minutes or so. They kept an open area up front for people like that and the job of some of the “ushers” was to carry collapsed people into the open area for prayer and care. Just like EFC, right?
Then this visiting Mexican evangelist got up to speak with a translator and it turned into an even bigger time of “healing and deliverance.” I have never, ever seen anything like it live. All kinds of things were going on inside of me – but then I remembered the portion Jeff taught from the Sunday before I left…the one where John and others went and whined to Jesus about “others” doing things “in His name.” Jesus simply told them to leave those others alone to do their work. So, I chose to simply watch in amazement, pray and learn. The whole thing had been going on for about three hours at that point. Then came another “surprise”: the 35-40 minutes they wanted from me (be ready, in season and out of season, huh?). The lead Pastor translated – and I could not believe how words simply came to me and flowed. After, the Pastor asked if I would come back and bring a message on Resurrection Sunday. I was scheduled in another church that day but Pastor Adam said this church would really “love to have (me) open the word with them again.” How the heck do you say “no, sorry” to that?! Simply another picture of the insanity of all of this! Now the li’l white dude from the Canadian prairies will be bringing the message on Resurrection Sunday in a very Caribbean/black/Charismatic church. How can you not laugh?
Oh, yesterday we went out of Cap Haitien to see a church and school that Pastor Adam started about six years ago. After being hammered by the conditions of the city for the first three days I was not at all prepared for what was waiting “out there.” I can only describe it as the Christmas party at the Zambiza dump – for miles on end! Still, the kids stunned me. Everywhere, they come to me; most timid at first but once the first one takes a bold step they all get into it. Even when we just pull over to the side of the road the kids crowd around. It hit me yesterday on the way home that I was the only white dude I had seen since I got here. On the one hand, that is kind of exhilarating. On the other hand, I definitely see why Jesus’ model was normally to send people out in at least 2’s!!! I try not to think too much about what I would do if I needed anything of significance along the way. I don’t know if I mentioned it but they put me up in a room (simple but quite nice, I must admit) in a building a couple of miles away from Pastor Adam’s home (you would have to see his home to appreciate why there wouldn’t have been room for me there) – so I am pretty much by myself from the time we get finished the crusades each night around 10:00 until Adam comes to get me the next morning.
By God’s grace I did just meet this dude from New York with a small NGO. He is actually trying to do something with sanitation here. Talk about an Everest-sized task! I hope to connect with him more when I get home – and help him try to raise some cash. He has an astounding dream!!! I just realized yesterday that there is absolutely no trash system here. Things are literally thrown everywhere; once a pile gets big enough (wherever it is), it becomes a “local dump.’ It is staggering! On top of that, the “sewer system” is a series of channels that run along the homes and the streets…leading basically anywhere and nowhere. So, a bunch of them kinda converge in random places. As close as I can tell, there are about 500,000 people in this city – so I cannot describe the cumulative effect of it all (words, pictures and even videos don’t capture what goes on in your other senses!)!
The language is soooooooo frustrating! It is normally a complete mix of Creole and French so I barely get anything at all! Still, I have met a few people who speak some English or Spanish so I have not been completely in isolation.
Oh, speaking of the trip out of town yesterday -- instead of the bus, a guy that one of the Pastors knows offered to drive us (for a fee); and his car has air conditioning! The little “gifts” from God along the way continue to humble me to the core. I have quite a list of them already!
I cannot even begin to talk about the kids. They are simply indescribable; precious; gorgeous. I have taken a few pictures but as I said earlier, it really feels inappropriate to be looking at their lives like a “spectator.”
Anyway, that is more than enough for now. One bizarre thing that has been happening is that I seem to collapse into a coma-like state for an hour or two in the afternoon – in spite of (or maybe because of) the heat. I don’t feel physically tired but it is like all my senses are so overloaded my whole “being” shuts down. It is dangerously close to that now – so I hope this makes some sense!!! Once I hit the “post” button it will be too late and I will only be able to look at it tomorrow and shake my head at how it came across.
On the Potter’s wheel (Jeremiah 18),
Len
Internet options have been rare over the past couple of days; so sorry for losing contact! Actually, this morning I was kind of crawling around behind the little desk in the “office” where I am staying into this chaos of wires to help them reestablish their internet connection here. I guess all those months of fighting with the problems we had in Quito have been redeemed – and the people are unusually appreciative about “how much (I) know about computers.” Hilarious, huh???!!!
Shoot; where do I begin? I wish you could have seen the translator last night. He does so much more than just translate the words. He “amplifies” the emotion and excitement to an acceptable “Caribbean” level. The dude is crazy and he gets flat-out drenched from head to toe. Every once in a while he pauses to whisper in my ear in broken English, “ohhhhhh, dis is a gooooood message.” It is kinda like a little nudge from God for me, saying, “Keep going; deliver the message; let me use him to make it fit their culture and hearts.”
Attendance at the crusades has been much lower than the leaders had hoped – but people just don’t seem to get down about anything here! They believe it simply comes down to the fact that people do not have any money at all to even think about getting to something “extra” like this. The poverty is beyond all western comprehension. Even Pastor Adam says things are much worse than when he left. Port au Prince (the capitol) was the only tiny glimmer of industry and/or employment and with it still upside-down the whole country is reeling. Plus, the neighborhood the crusade is in is pretty “dark” in all ways. Apparently many people are not happy with a church “hurting”” their neighborhood. The whole area is pretty much without electricity so when we drive out at night, the candles on tables in front of the homes give it all kind of an extra ominous feel. Plus, the rains have returned – which is a huge relief on one hand – but tends to keep even more people away in the evening. Still, when it comes to the “crusade,” the people that come seem so full of life and faith and the direction of the crusade seems to be turning more to encouraging them and building them up than welcoming people who do not have any clue about God.
On the other hand, this morning I was invited to a “prayer meeting” at the biggest church in Cap Haitien. Talk about being yanked out of my comfort zone!!! There were several thousand people there – and for about an hour it looked like a mixture of a Caribbean aerobics class and mosh pit (prayer meeting, huh?). Then it turned into what I can only imagine happened in the first days of the New Testament. There were shrieks and screams and people would hit the dirt and flip and flop and tremble and quake and then go perfectly still; some for 20 minutes or so. They kept an open area up front for people like that and the job of some of the “ushers” was to carry collapsed people into the open area for prayer and care. Just like EFC, right?
Then this visiting Mexican evangelist got up to speak with a translator and it turned into an even bigger time of “healing and deliverance.” I have never, ever seen anything like it live. All kinds of things were going on inside of me – but then I remembered the portion Jeff taught from the Sunday before I left…the one where John and others went and whined to Jesus about “others” doing things “in His name.” Jesus simply told them to leave those others alone to do their work. So, I chose to simply watch in amazement, pray and learn. The whole thing had been going on for about three hours at that point. Then came another “surprise”: the 35-40 minutes they wanted from me (be ready, in season and out of season, huh?). The lead Pastor translated – and I could not believe how words simply came to me and flowed. After, the Pastor asked if I would come back and bring a message on Resurrection Sunday. I was scheduled in another church that day but Pastor Adam said this church would really “love to have (me) open the word with them again.” How the heck do you say “no, sorry” to that?! Simply another picture of the insanity of all of this! Now the li’l white dude from the Canadian prairies will be bringing the message on Resurrection Sunday in a very Caribbean/black/Charismatic church. How can you not laugh?
Oh, yesterday we went out of Cap Haitien to see a church and school that Pastor Adam started about six years ago. After being hammered by the conditions of the city for the first three days I was not at all prepared for what was waiting “out there.” I can only describe it as the Christmas party at the Zambiza dump – for miles on end! Still, the kids stunned me. Everywhere, they come to me; most timid at first but once the first one takes a bold step they all get into it. Even when we just pull over to the side of the road the kids crowd around. It hit me yesterday on the way home that I was the only white dude I had seen since I got here. On the one hand, that is kind of exhilarating. On the other hand, I definitely see why Jesus’ model was normally to send people out in at least 2’s!!! I try not to think too much about what I would do if I needed anything of significance along the way. I don’t know if I mentioned it but they put me up in a room (simple but quite nice, I must admit) in a building a couple of miles away from Pastor Adam’s home (you would have to see his home to appreciate why there wouldn’t have been room for me there) – so I am pretty much by myself from the time we get finished the crusades each night around 10:00 until Adam comes to get me the next morning.
By God’s grace I did just meet this dude from New York with a small NGO. He is actually trying to do something with sanitation here. Talk about an Everest-sized task! I hope to connect with him more when I get home – and help him try to raise some cash. He has an astounding dream!!! I just realized yesterday that there is absolutely no trash system here. Things are literally thrown everywhere; once a pile gets big enough (wherever it is), it becomes a “local dump.’ It is staggering! On top of that, the “sewer system” is a series of channels that run along the homes and the streets…leading basically anywhere and nowhere. So, a bunch of them kinda converge in random places. As close as I can tell, there are about 500,000 people in this city – so I cannot describe the cumulative effect of it all (words, pictures and even videos don’t capture what goes on in your other senses!)!
The language is soooooooo frustrating! It is normally a complete mix of Creole and French so I barely get anything at all! Still, I have met a few people who speak some English or Spanish so I have not been completely in isolation.
Oh, speaking of the trip out of town yesterday -- instead of the bus, a guy that one of the Pastors knows offered to drive us (for a fee); and his car has air conditioning! The little “gifts” from God along the way continue to humble me to the core. I have quite a list of them already!
I cannot even begin to talk about the kids. They are simply indescribable; precious; gorgeous. I have taken a few pictures but as I said earlier, it really feels inappropriate to be looking at their lives like a “spectator.”
Anyway, that is more than enough for now. One bizarre thing that has been happening is that I seem to collapse into a coma-like state for an hour or two in the afternoon – in spite of (or maybe because of) the heat. I don’t feel physically tired but it is like all my senses are so overloaded my whole “being” shuts down. It is dangerously close to that now – so I hope this makes some sense!!! Once I hit the “post” button it will be too late and I will only be able to look at it tomorrow and shake my head at how it came across.
On the Potter’s wheel (Jeremiah 18),
Len
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